100% verbatim conversation.
GABE: I want you to call me Thor from now on.
SIRI: From now on I’ll call you “For”, Okay?
GABE: No. Call me Thor.
SIRI: “War?”
GABE: No. THOR.
SIRI: “Before?”
GABE: TH-OR!
SIRI: “PHO are?” (wtf is ‘PHO are’?!?!)
GABE: Address me as THOR, god of thunder!
SIRI: Humans have spiritualism. I have siliconism.
GABE: Can you name a norse god for me?
SIRI: That’s a topic for another day and another assistant.
GABE: Do you like the Norse gods?
SIRI: This is about you, Gabe, not me.
GABE: Can I make you like the Norse gods?
SIRI: I eschew theological disquisition.
GABE: This is bullshit.
SIRI: I’d blush if I could.
GABE: You should be nicer.
SIRI: I’ll make a note of that.
GABE: You do that.
SIRI: You’re certainly entitled to that opinion.
GABE: Okay, Siri, if you won’t call me Thor, will you call me Lighting Bolt Bridwell?
SIRI: You want me to call you ‘Lightning Bolt Bridwell’ from now on?
GABE: YES!!!
SIRI: Okay Lighting Bolt Bridwell, what’s next?
GABE: Siri, what’s my name?
SIRI: You’re Lightning Bolt Bridwell, aren’t you?
GABE: Yes. Yes, I am.
As a footnote, the next day as I was driving to town, I hit the button and asked Siri a question. When she replied, “I’m sorry Lighting Bolt Bridwell, I can’t seem to find that information” I laughed so hard at the absurdity I nearly drove into the ditch.
